M. T. Dremer's Guide to the Fantastic
I’ve battled horrible beasts from the blackest depths of the world. I’ve traveled through portals to hellish dimensions to find answers. And I’ve researched, tirelessly, the most demented, twisted, and evil books all for the purposes of bringing you, the reader, this valuable information. Do I have the scars and scorch marks to prove it? Probably not. Do I have citations and references to back up my claims? Doubtful. Did I fabricate everything in the name of humor? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean the information is any less valuable. The purpose of this Guide to the Fantastic is to compile all of my weird, supernatural and fantasy-driven articles in the same place. If you’re unfamiliar with them I’ll provide a brief description with each.
Tips to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
Oh boy, the undead are at it again. How many zombie apocalypses have we seen now? I lost count. Anyway, I’ve compiled my knowledge to give you the quickest, most efficient path to safety. What weapons to use, where to go, and who to go with. All of it is here. Print it out, fold it, and put it in your pocket because you never know when you’re neighbor is going to be knocking on your door, asking to borrow half a cup of BRAINS!!!
Ah vampires, remember when they were scarier than they were sexy? Now-a-days you’re more likely to see a vampire dating your teenage daughter than drinking blood. I compiled a list of both old and new vampires, outlining the level of dangerousness, identifying traits and how to do away with them. Though, I admit, I don’t have any advice for dealing with a vampire son-in-law.
Extermination Manual for Ghosts
Sure, we’ve all experienced some form of paranormal activity in our houses, or our parents’ houses, or our friends’ houses, but what the heck are we supposed to do about it? Sit down and take it? I don’t think so. It’s time to take this fight to the afterlife. I provide the tools necessary to find your transparent squatter, classify him, and send him back to the grave. Not to be confused with ‘real’ ghost hunting as portrayed on television and in various societies. Though there are some similarities, I assure you mine is the ‘real-ist’ fake guide you’ll ever read.
Who’s a good boy? Is it you? Are you a good boy? Do you want a were-wolfy treat? Living with a Werewolf can put a serious strain on your relationships, but it doesn’t have to. From living conditions to diet and exercise, I get you ready to accommodate your were-spouse and all of their feral needs. There is no reason why you can’t still love your significant-others, even when they are flesh-eating monsters.
While I don’t generally advocate hunting animals, I do understand that the dragon population has grown out of control (Thanks a lot, modern fantasy writers). But, I won’t deny, that there are a great deal of useful parts on a dragon; from their armored scales to their magical guts. If you’ve got to kill them, at least make total use of them, and inside I show you how. (Including a quick crash course on how to raise your own dragon companion for help in the hunt.)
Footnotes
There is a great deal more to be discovered in the realm of the fantastic so I’ll be adding to this central article as I go. It will serve as a ‘hub’ of sorts.
Disclaimer: M. T. Dremer’s Guide to the Fantastic assumes no legal responsibility for those who go in search of, or hunting, mythological creatures. All humor articles will be designated as such so there is no confusion between them and real articles. M. T. Dremer is a fantasy writer with an active imagination. If that doesn’t explain everything, I don’t know what will.
